What is narcissism? It’s a word that has a lot of negative connotations in society but it’s actually very common to have narcissistic traits. This article will explore what it actually is without judgement, exploring the origins and different types of narcissism. It will also explore how therapy can be helpful for manging narcissism.
Narcissistic traits are quite common, especially as we become more enthralled with social media. Similarly to how the experience of depression is very different to being sad, you can be narcissistic without it being a mental health issue. However, sometimes our narcissism can affect relationships, our ability to meet our goals or cause anxiety. This is when it may be helpful to look into therapy to reduce naricssitic tendencies. It is also important to understand that being narcissistic does not mean you are a bad person. Whilst the word narcissism has a lot of negative connotations, it is possible to have narcissistic traits without being abusive and manipulative.
Types of narcissism
Narcissism can present as overt or grandiose narcissism, which usually involves being gregarious, grandiose, self-important, confident and needing attention. Narcissism can also present as covert or vulnerable narcissism, which is usually involves grandiosity, emotional vulnerability, sensitivity to criticism and introversion. Both presentations involve the key symptoms of narcissism which is a lack of empathy with others and a need to be perceived as exceptional and grandiose.
People with both forms of narcissistic traits suffer from low self-esteem and require external validation to help them feel worthy. The grandiose self is their way of gaining that external validation by being the most impressive or vulnerable, however that grandiosity is often only achieved by putting down others whose success or needs may challenge it. This creates a self-fulfilling cycle where the person is seeking validation externally, being grandiose to be worth of the validation, devaluing other people to maintain the grandiosity, which then devalues the validation they are desperately seeking.
How can therapy help narcissism?
Similar to other mental health difficulties, such as anxiety, or other patterns we may have developed through life that limit us, narcissism can be worked with in therapy if it is affecting our lives and relationships. This can involve finding the root cause of the lack of self-esteem, developing a better understanding and empathy for others and their opinions, and creating a more robust self that doesn’t rely on external validation.