We all know we should engage with self-care but what does it actually mean? It’s more than doing what you want and more about doing what you need.
Self-care has become a bit of a buzz word in recent years, but it is a key part of staying mentally healthy and fulfilled in life. The problem is self-care goes against a lot of entrenched views in society where taking time for yourself can be viewed as selfish. There’s a favourite therapist metaphor: you’re told in airplanes to secure your own air mask before helping others because you won’t be able to help anyone if you can’t breathe. You won’t be able to be a good friend, a good parent, a good boss/ employee or a good person without securing your mask first.
But what actually is self-care? Self-care is not about doing things you want to do, it is about engaging with activities you enjoy that will soothe and nourish you. It’s a very personal thing, but some examples are: having a bath, watching a favourite TV show or film, going for a walk, engaging with a hobby, speaking with a friend on the phone, stroking a pet, and meditating. The key part is that the activity is soothing, meaning that it brings a calm to you, and that it nourishes you, meaning that it leaves you feeling more resilient and rested. It needs to be something you genuinely enjoy and it should be engaged with in a mindful way, where you can focus on the activity and how much you’re enjoying it. Having a bath won’t be self-care if you’re on your phone and checking work emails while you’re doing it!
Creating a self-care plan can be helpful for establishing what activities you can do to be kind to yourself. When you feel overwhelmed or distressed it can be difficult to think about what will soothe and nourish you, so having the plan ready means you don’t have to come up with ideas in the moment. Therapy offers the opportunity to create self-care plans and to discuss what might be blocking you creating space for self-care.